Tuesday, July 28, 2009 | Author: Mad Typist

Hey baby. I got what you need

There is a very serious epidemic sweeping the nation right now that I wanted to bring to your attention. Scores of underaged cats have been popping up on website around the Internet. Look at this poor fellow above. Rigby is only 3 years old and he is already clearly deep into the underground kitty porn scene.

Here's another picture of Rigby shamelessly spreading his legs for the camera.

When Rigby starts to feel bad about his lifestyle, he likes to either hide his shame deep inside the closest paper bag:

Or he puts on his favorite Cher album, pops on a wig, and goes to town:

At the end of the day, apparently young Rigby can only collapse over the top of his favorite chair, as he contemplates the life decisions that have led him to a life of internet porn-fame.

If you prefer cats of the more zaftig variety, Miss Ellie has also been making the scenes.

Look at that dirty girl getting into it. Shameful!

We suspect, like many involved in the porn industry, that Miss Ellie is a substance abuser. Look at these photos. We have reports that she drank an entire case of beer, just so she could sit in the box.

This is madness.
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Hilariously Over the Top Trailer for New Spartacus Show
Monday, July 27, 2009 | Author: Mad Typist
Enjoy this NSFW trailer for the new Starz series "Spartacus: Sand and Blood" in the comfort of your own home. I'm pretty psyched about this new show for several reasons. 1) It's by the people who brought you Xena and has a showrunner who cut his teeth on Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel. 2) It freaking has Xena in it. Yeah, that's right - look closely and you'll catch a glimpse of Lucy Lawless. 3) It looks really stylish and super duper violent. And those of you who know me know that I appreciate a bit of the ol' ultra-violence.

Really, this show looks like it's going to be very gory, and very very sexy. Sounds like a good time to me. Check it out (again, this is not really safe for work):

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Don't Let The Gun Nuts Win!
Wednesday, July 22, 2009 | Author: Mad Typist
I don't usually forward emails or post about things happening in Congress with headlines like, "Crucial bill coming up! Email your senator now!". However, this particular amendment is so troubling that I really want to spread the word about the insanity being proposed.

Sen John Thune (R-ND) has introduced an amendment that would effectively gut the concealed carry laws of a majority of states. From the op-ed published in the NY Times:

Nearly all states issue licenses to carry concealed firearms, but the criteria for granting such permits vary widely, and it is now, sensibly, up to each state to decide whether to accept another state’s permits.

At least 35 states prevent people from carrying concealed weapons if they have certain misdemeanor convictions. At least 31 states prohibit alcohol abusers from obtaining a concealed carry permit and require gun safety training. The Thune amendment would force states with more restrictive standards to accept concealed carry permits from states with less stringent rules — in effect giving the lax rules national reach.

This is insanity. I don't begrudge a place like Alaska for having more lax gun laws. I really don't. I mean, that's the kind of place where you can literally be assaulted by a grizzly bear or a moose (true story) on the way to you car in the parking lot. It's also the kind of place where you have low population density and lack many of the problems of major urban environments that the rest of the country has. However, to force states - who have radically different situations and gun-control requirements - to accept Alaska's concealed carry criteria (or ANY other state's criteria) is stupid, and more importantly, dangerous.

Steve Benen at Political Animal has more to say:
Despite the large Democratic majority, three Senate Democrats - Max Baucus and Jon Tester of Montana and Mark Begich of Alaska - are co-sponsors of the measure, and Sens. Harry Reid (D) of Nevada and Ben Nelson (D) of Nebraska both announced their support for the amendment yesterday.

The administration hasn't had much to say about this, suggesting that if the larger spending bill passes with Thune's amendment in the legislation, it will become law.
Really? Shame on you, Harry Reid.

Essentially, this is allowing the state with the most lax gun control laws to dictate federal gun control policy.

Seriously, people, this is a major public safety concern. If ever you felt an urge to get active, to write to your Congressmen and Senators, this is the time. Forward the op-ed to everyone you know, make people aware of this issue. Flood the Obama Facebook page wall with your opinion (but keep it civil - this issue is bigger than our need to be profane or stupid on the Internet).
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Emmy Nomination Hits and Misses
Thursday, July 16, 2009 | Author: Mad Typist
I declare "Shenanigans!" on the following Emmy nominations:

Best Drama:
It's not that I have a problem with House overall, but it feels like a pretty formulaic show to me. Mysterious medical aliment of the week gets solved by bickering staff and dickhole (but funny) Dr. House. The other nominees are great - innovative, well acted and well written works that really feel like something special.

Should have been nominated instead: Battlestar Galactica. For the love of God, people... how can something this great not get a single freaking nomination in its entire 4 season run? Also snubbed acceptable alternates include the delightfully soapy True Blood and the much-beloved Friday Night Lights.

Best Comedy:
Oy vey, what a disaster. Entourage? I guess Emmy voters enjoy rewarding a show about a foursome of douchebags who hang out all day and do... stuff. HATE. And Family Guy? I mean, yes, it's a guilty pleasure to me, but this was by far the weakest season of this show.

Should have been nominated instead: if you want an animated cartoon that's truly edgy and topical, give the nomination to South Park, which delivers amazing social commentary peppered with scatalogical humor week after week. And why not reward more deserving show like the freshmen Better Off Ted ("Racial Sensitivity" alone should have been enough to garner a nomination), or the brilliant Pushing Daisies?

Best Actor (Drama):
No real complains, though I'd swap out the fluffy (if charming) Simon Baker and reward one of the guys from Battlestar Galactica instead.

Should have been nominated instead: Hell, James "Craterface" Olmos managed to make me swoon with his romantic and heroic performance as Admiral Adama, and that's got to be worth something, right?

Best Actress (Drama):
Props to the Emmy voters for singling out Elizabeth Moss for her amazing performance last season on Mad Men. While I still think that Glenn Close's Patty Hewes is simply the finest piece of acting by a lead female in television today, I wouldn't complain if Moss stole this one. However, Mariska Hargitay has been hitting the same dull note as Olivia Benson for years now, and I just don't think she belongs in this group.

Should have been nominated instead: Mary McDonnell, who deserves not just a nomination but a win for her intense performance as Laura Roslin on BSG.

Best Supporting Actor (Drama):
Look, I love The Shat as much as the next gal, but come on. TWO nominations for stupid Boston Legal?

Should have been nominated instead: Nelsen Ellis, who's performance as LaFayette on True Blood was so fierce, they had to deviate from the books and keep him alive, lest the fans riot and burn down the studios in protest. I thought that James Callis has always deserved a nod for his equally fierce (and queeny) performance as Gaius Baltar.

Best Supporting Actress (Drama):
First things first: Rose Byrne needs someone to hold her down and force a cheeseburger down her throat. Girl is WAY too skinny for my taste. And while I'm a huge fan of Damages, Bryne is truly the lightweight on that show (physically and acting-wise). Maybe it's just because she's surrounded by some true titans of acting, but Bryne could disappear from the show forever, and no one would notice or care.

Should have been nominated instead: You know why I started caring about Sawyer again on Lost? Because Juliet humanized him and made me love him again. Elizabeth Mitchell deserved a nomination for giving us a female character who was probably the only sane person left in that gang of motley fools.

I'm actually fine with the Supporting Actor/Actress nominations for the Comedy category, so I have nothing to say there.

Overall, big props for recognizing that 30 Rock's third season was probably only 90% as funny as past years, but that still makes it better than almost any other show on television. Also major props for recognizing Mad Men's achievements.

Big BOOOOO! to the Emmy voters snubbing the sci-fi genre yet again. Sometimes I think these people just vote for names they recognize and that they don't even watch television (or enjoy good programming).
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Announcing Rapid Recaps (First up: Nurse Jackie)
Tuesday, July 07, 2009 | Author: Mad Typist
Those of you who follow this blog will recall that last week I posted asking for suggestions on shows that I would recap/review. Well, the votes are in, so here are the shows I'll be reviewing, as well as the dayI plan to release each micro-podcast:
  1. True Blood - Sunday
  2. Nurse Jackie - Monday
  3. Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D List - Tuesday
  4. HBO Hard Knocks: Cincinnati Bengals Training Camp - Wednesday
  5. Burn Notice - Thursday
*note: I'll be watching all shows live and doing the most recent new episodes. The exception will be Burn Notice, which I'll be recapping from Season 1, Episode 1 on (yey for TV on DVD via Netflix). Hard Knocks won't start airing till August on HBO.

Hopefully you enjoy this. Please be patient with me as I figure out the best way to jam all my thoughts into an audio recording that's only 3-4 minutes long.

How to follow my micro-podcasts:
  1. Click here to subscribe via iTunes
  2. Add the RSS feed to your favorite RSS reader:
  3. Follow me directly via AudioBoo
  4. Follow me via Twitter (podcast links will automatically be posted to my Twitter account as they are released).
Anyway, took my first shot at this wacky little experiment last night. So, here's my very first rapid recap of Nurse Jackie Episode 105:


Will I be recapping other shows?
Yes. The plan right now is to do these shows throughout the summer. When the fall season rolls around, I'll probably pick up 4-5 new shows. I may do 1-2 "vintage" shows as well (shows that have already aired). As always, your feedback is essential, so hit me up at jessie [at] rapidrecaps [dot] com with your suggestions.
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Disney Princesses Meet The Real World
Monday, July 06, 2009 | Author: Mad Typist
I encourage all of you to go over to JPG Magazine and check out this brilliant photo essay by Dina Goldstein entitled "Fallen Princesses." In it, Goldstein uses models to simulate the intersection of the real world with the idea of a fairy tale princess. Here's a sample shot from the series:

In the article, Goldstein notes:
"As a young girl, growing up abroad, I was not exposed to Fairy tales. These new discoveries lead to my fascination with the origins of Fairy tales. I explored the original brothers Grimm's stories and found that they have very dark and sometimes gruesome aspects, many of which were changed by Disney. I began to imagine Disney's perfect Princesses juxtaposed with real issues that were affecting women around me, such as illness, addiction and self-image issues"
Check it out. Simply amazing (the Rapunzel one is particularly haunting).
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You Just Hate Her Because She's Prettier Than You!
Thursday, July 02, 2009 | Author: Mad Typist
I've heard some whoppers in my day, but this latest post by Douglas MacKinnon over at the Huffington Post rates pretty high on my "Are you fucking kidding me with this shit?" meter:
Which brings me to a question I've been asking for months of my liberal friends: Why do so many on the left have such an unhinged hatred of this woman? Why do so many alleged feminists and female members of the mainstream media openly and gleefully despise Palin?

[. . .]

But why Dowd and the feminists? With regard to The New York Times columnist, I asked a female friend of mine who happens to be a psychologist, what might prompt the anger? She mentioned a host of possibilities, but settled on one theory. That being that Dowd "may be threatened or envious of Palin... or both. As an aging but still attractive woman, Dowd may resent Palin's good looks. Further, as a single woman of a certain age, she may be envious that Palin has a husband, a family, and has carved out an accomplished political career."

While not a fan of psycho-babble, it does seem to be a plausible explanation.
Wow. Just.... wow. You know, I have my issues with Maureen Dowd (particularly the way she goes after certain prominent females), but still... to suggest that it's because she's jealous that Palin is prettier than Dowd and has a husband and kids? That's so fraking stupid, it's hard to respond without just breaking down and laughing at the insanity of the idea.

Oh, but wait. If you gents thought you were free of this "you just hate the pretty girl, all you hairy-legged feminist women" attack, think again:
With regard to why Purdum, David Letterman, and other liberal males continually go after Palin, the answer might be as easy as they secretly lust after her while also seeing her as the "girlfriend of the quarterback" they could never get in high school. Seriously, look at the "men" who belittle Palin on a regular basis. For the most part, they fit the description of "the pencil-neck geek" from high school. Are they now trying to make Palin pay for their long-ago inadequacies? Is that why Letterman imagines her now as a "Slutty Flight Attendant?" Because she is his fantasy and rather than admit it, he strikes out at her?
Ah, my OTHER favorite insult, the classic, "You just hate her because she's pretty and won't sleep with you!"

Attention: according to this writer, you may only question Sarah Palin's suitability to hold high office if you are a square-jawed quarterback with a hot wife and 3 kids, or a super successful business woman and mommy who still retains her high school figure (or is hot).

Look, I'm going to attempt to get past the asinine statements made by MacKinnon, to address the question he asked: why do so many of YOU PEOPLE hate Sarah Palin so much?

First of all - I don't hate Sarah Palin. Most of us don't. Hate is something that implies passion. I personally reserve my hate for the real villains out there (*coughcough*AnnCoulter *coughcough*). I dislike Sarah Palin, because her nomination for the Vice Presidency of the United States was an insult to the country and to its citizens. Second of all - don't make this just a liberal thing. Lots of people from all points along the political spectrum dislike Sarah Palin.

Getting back around to the question, though, I think the main reason most people hate/dislike Sarah Palin, is that believe it or not, people believe in a meritocracy. That's right - we like to think that in an ideal situation, only qualified people get to hold the highest office in the land. It's not unreasonable for people to be interested in whether or not the woman who ran for VP (and who, by the way, is still a front runner for the presidential nomination in 2012) is 1) qualified, and 2) able to handle herself under pressure. More importantly, several valid concerns were raised about her integrity (Troopergate, the $150K spent on clothing), and her willingness to abuse the power of the office she held. I could go on and on - but then, just read the Vanity Fair article that so provoked MacKinnon in the first place and you'll get the jist of people's problems with ol' Sarah Palin.

Things like this always crack me up, because I'm always left debating: "Is this person a liar who just twists reality to fit his needs? Or is he truly that willfully ignorant about what it takes to lead the country as President?"
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I Would Like To Be The First To Welcome Our New Ant Overlords
Thursday, July 02, 2009 | Author: Mad Typist

Read this fascinating article today about a recent scientific discovery that one particular colony of Argentine ants has secretly been taking over the world for some time now.
In Europe, one vast colony of Argentine ants is thought to stretch for 6,000km (3,700 miles) along the Mediterranean coast, while another in the US, known as the "Californian large", extends over 900km (560 miles) along the coast of California. A third huge colony exists on the west coast of Japan.

While ants are usually highly territorial, those living within each super-colony are tolerant of one another, even if they live tens or hundreds of kilometres apart. Each super-colony, however, was thought to be quite distinct.

But it now appears that billions of Argentine ants around the world all actually belong to one single global mega-colony.
The money quote from the site (located in the big green box on the source article):
The enormous extent of this population is paralleled only by human society
That is just awesome. More fascinating to me is the fact that separate branches of the colony located in Japan, the U.S., and Europe retain some weird memory of each other, and will refuse to fight members from other colonies.

According to this article from 2004, the ants have also penetrated the continent of Australia, and are probably formenting a super colony there as well.

Of course, not everyone is convinced about this so-called "ant supercolony." I suspect when the apocalypse comes, the scientist in this article (published in 2004) will be the character pish-pawing the threat in briefings to the President, until tragically it is too late.

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Readers, Help Me Decide Which Shows To Review!
Wednesday, July 01, 2009 | Author: Mad Typist
I was polling friends recently as to which iPhone apps they considered essential (since I have now drank the Kool Aid and am the owner of a brand new iPhone 3GS). One friend suggested I check out a program called AudioBoo. It allows users to upload short audio clips, which are then published immediately on the AudioBoo site, and can be subscribed to via RSS. In other words, it's like Twitter but for podcasts.

Now, I already do a bi-weekly podcast, and it clocks in at a whopping 1 hour and 30 minutes most episodes, so I was dubious about the ability to convey anything interesting in a micro-podcast that runs under 3 minutes. However, after some thought an idea percolated about how I might use this new technology.

I don't have the time and energy to write detailed recaps/reviews of the shows I watch, since people seem to expect those posted the next morning after the show airs. However, I am considering doing micro-podcasts immediately after I watch each show reviewing the episode.

This is where you, dear reader, come in.

Several of you have said you enjoy reading my reviews on pop culture things like the new HBO series "Hung." On the other hand, maybe the rest of you are silently groaning at the thought of me blathering on about more TV. So, please take a moment and let me know in the comments your responses to the following:

1) Would you be interested in listening to my 3 minute micro-podcast reviews of various TV shows? I ask because this only makes sense if people actually want to hear it. Otherwise, I'm just wasting my time.

2) If the answer, is yes, which 3-5 shows would you like to hear recapped/reviewed? I'm open to any suggestion (feel free to shout out requests), but for reference, here's a list of the shows currently on my watch-list:
  • Hung (for now)
  • True Blood
  • The Closer
  • How I Met Your Mother (I'm catching up on the series by watching Lifetime's reruns)
  • Better Off Ted
  • Nurse Jackie
  • Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D List
  • Deadliest Catch
  • Mad Men (returns in August)
  • Hard Knocks: Bengals Training Camp (returns in August)
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