Cultural Cuisinart

So I've been meaning to talk about the subject of internet dating for some time now. I met my current boyfriend via the internet, and when we first got together, we found ourselves fibbing about how we met. But then we said to ourselves, "Is meeting on the internet so taboo that it's more unsavory than meeting someone in the bar and hooking up solely on the basis of their looks?"

I've met a lot of people (both in person and online) who have expressed skepticism over the idea of internet dating. Some seem intimidated, others don't know quite how to get started. Hence, this week-long series here at Cultural Cuisinart. I'll be covering some basic tips and tricks on how to successfully navigate the big, scary world of internet dating.

What do I know about internet dating?

I've met several people via various online dating sites, with various results. I have several friends who have met their significant others via the internet (some of whom will be sharing their stories and advice here as well). Some of those friends have even gone on to marry people they met online. In other words, I've been there, done that, have some good war stories and feel like I have a few things that I can share with you all.

Who is this series for?

This series is focused mostly on people looking to internet date for the first time (or perhaps those looking to give it another try). I'm mostly aiming at the vanilla crowd, if only because if you are a fetishist or "non-normie" of some kind (into bondage, group stuff, furry sex, whatever), you probably already know all about the wonders of meeting people via the internet. I have several non-normie friends out there, and I love them and endorse their kink whole-heartedly, but I doubt I have much to share with them on this topic.

If, like me, you are mortified at the thought of having to approach people in bars/clubs, and just want to get your good old fashioned date on with another human being, you may find something useful here (this applies to both gay and straight readers).

My own personal story.

To start things off, let me share my own little story. I started exploring internet dating about 7 years ago. I got started because a friend actually asked me to check out her online profile (to see if it sounded good), and in order to do so, I was forced to register my own account. Since I had gone that far, I went ahead and created a profile for myself. Over the next couple years, I had a few responses and went on some dates. Most of the guys were very nice, but I didn't have much chemistry with them. During this time, I was also dating people met in real life (IRL) - mostly through friends, at work, etc.

My own personal theory of meeting people via the internet is this: be open to all possibilities, including meeting people who are cool but you have no chemistry with. People who are cool tend to have other friends who are similarly cool. And some of those friends you may find you have a spark with. That's why I enjoy keeping relationships up with people I meet on the internet, even if it doesn't work out romantically. Several of my IRL dates I met through my online dates-that-didn't-work-out.

I met my current boyfriend (who, to protect his identity, we'll just refer to as "Boy" from here on out) via the Spring Street dating network (they provide online profile stuff to various sites that aren't dating specific, like the Onion online, Nerve magazine, etc). I had been attracted to his profile due in large part to the simple statement in his profile that "I'm tired of meeting people in bars." I was too, plus a boatload of my friends had just left Hawaii and returned to the mainland, so I was feeling like having some new faces in my life. In truth, I was just hoping to find a nice new friend who would have hot friends that I would then date. It was a perfect plan, except that he surprised me by being cool and attractive himself.

Boy and I actually did the friend route for several months, and then we sort of stumbled into a relationship along the way. We've been together now for 4 years, and have lived together for 3 of those years. If I were into marriage, I suppose that would have come up by now, as we own our house together, plus 2 insane cats, so our lives are completely intertwined (Co-ownership of property/livestock = Serious Relationship).

Okay, so that's my story.

Questions/comments/hate-or-love-mail:

• Email me at askmyblog@gmail.com
  

Coming up tomorrow: how to get started and how to write your online profile to attract the right people.