Cultural Cuisinart

Jumping off of yesterday's post, I've decided to make my own list of 10 Worst Shows. Here are the rules of engagement:

• Must be a show that has successfully been renewed at least once. I'm not going to waste space on shows that were canceled before a second season - it's a bit too easy to pick a crappy show like Viva Laughlin and dog pile on it for sucking. Yeah, it sucked, but the network took a chance on it, didn't like what they saw, and wisely canceled it after just 1 episode.
• Must be of extremely poor quality (or has suffered an incredible decline since its high points).
• Must be a program on a fairly respected network. Do we care that Animal Planet is airing a stupid reality show about dog groomers? No.

Why Won't You Just Die Already!!!! (the top 10 worst shows)

1. ER - Yes, it's finally due to die after this season. But really, this show wore out its welcome 5 years ago. Not a single original main cast member is still on the pay roll, the plots are ridiculously outlandish (the Chopper Kills Romano plot being one of the most outrageous ones in recent memory), and frankly, the soap isn't as fun as it used to be. Grey's Anatomy has stripped the mantle of "Best show where hot docs make love/do medicine" away, so ER doesn't have much going for it these days. This is at the top of the list not because it's the worst overall objectively, but for the sin of having achieved such great heights (really, Doug Ross saving that kid in the drain is a classic TV moment) and yet plummeted so far in quality.
   
   
2. Mind of Mencia - Attention, world: Carlos Mencia IS NOT FUNNY. Plus, if rumor is to be believed, he steals other people's material. Which makes you wonder: if you were going to steal other people's jokes, wouldn't you want to steal the ones that were actually funny? Each episode is 30 painful minutes of racial stereotypes and bad acting.
   
   
3. According to Jim - Everyone associated with this show should be punched in the throat.
   
   
4. CSI: Miami - Crass and trashier than the other CSIs, with a mediocre cast and stupid David Caruso glowering behind his stupid yellow sunglasses and mumbling "witty" quips. Inexplicably high rated.
   
   
5. Ghost Whisperer - I admit, I've never seen the appeal of Jennifer Love McHugeTits (I mean "Hewett"). But are the typical Jennifer Love-Hewett fans (horny young guys) really hanging around on Friday nights aching to watch a boring ghost show? Shouldn't they be down at the local Hooters doing shots?
   
   
6. Prison Break - Is anyone even watching this anymore?
   
   
7. Two And A Half Men - Who are you, millions who allegedly watch this show? Because I've never met a single person who liked (and really, even admitted to watching) this show. Formulaic junk, plus the kid is freakishly big now.
   
   
8. The Moment of Truth - Cruel, manipulative, and yet somehow really freaking boring. Someone needs to slap the FOX execs who greenlit this.
   
   
9. America's Next Top Model - Tyra Banks MUST be stopped.
   
   
10. Smallville - Dude, the guy playing teenage Clark Kent is like 30 years old. Michael Rosenbaum, the real star of the show, has left. It's time to put this turkey to bed.